The F-Word


The “f” word becomes more offensive with age. This adjective is used regularly in some socio-economic circles- in the way others would use awesome or nice. It is a word I was exposed to in my younger years and by elementary everyone at school has not only heard it said but said it including myself, not always knowing the meaning but understanding the effect the word has is big and powerful.

Some how I am running with a group of girls who use this word freely. As though they don’t understand its impact. How it makes a heart jump with surprise when said!

You know how it goes you become who you hang out with. I have assimilated to those I spend time with and have begun to reflect their values, attitudes and actions. So, much like a frog in the water pot, I have slowly acquired this word into my vocabulary knowing there are those who will be shocked at my use of it. Yet it describes my reality accurately. So here it is…fifty. Fifty? Fifty! Fifty!!!

This number has been looming over me for, well, all my life. But it has only been the past few years that it has put its hands on its hips mocking me in defiance. It stands in the road of my life knowing I can not avoid it. There will be reckoning.

I had a minor “reckoning” at 31… the extra number just bothered me but I got over it in a few weeks.

But let me tell you, this one has been bad. In stead of saying I am pushing fifty. I say I am holding on to forty-nine. I find myself thinking- what is there left to do?? Life is practically over… Be 65 in the blink of an eye… If I were to get another degree would I ever get my money’s worth out of it? What new career would I like? Would I ever get those student loans paid off?

I have six months before the f-word becomes my reality and I am turning tales on those lies which have harass me since I turned 47.

The Roman numeral for fifty is L. L, L, L. Hmmmm.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Yes!! That will be my mantra. This will be the banner over me as I walk with confidence in this life changing year. These words will cast the shadow by which the rest of my life will be shaped.

Live! (Action) To live each day so that at the end of it I can say one or more way(s) I walked in was new, positive and impacting. There are so many things to do, experiences to have that go beyond the positive in each day. I want to actively make a life that would allow these experiences to happen. Create a bucket list? Making a bucket list sounds so downer…I want to make a “experiencing the fullness of life” list. It will include travel (Alaskan Cruise, Disney World, Netherlands…), experiences (IRE walking tour, 5k, see all nominated Oscar movies…), creativity (learn to quilt, knit, paint, flower and herb garden…), accomplishments (write a great American novel ;), make really good fried chicken-once, play Lucy & Linus on the piano…), etc. In short, live with a purpose I value. Having a purpose fights off the aging process as it gives me some thing to look forward to that engages a healthy mind and body.

Laugh. (Attitude) A positive attitude makes all the difference. A good attitude is key to expecting good things to happen, which in turn leads to good things happening. I came into 2013 purposing to LOL each day. Now I see it is a life value that I will be holding to for all my years. I will laugh with the quints with their momma on YouTube. I will laugh at the unexpected- though it may be easier to do when looking back at it than when you are cleaning the cocoa powder that exploded all over you and all around you while making a cake in the mountains of Colorado. I have found that I laugh at a good sitcom (Big Bang Theory) or reality TV (Duck Dynasty) or movie (Something’s Got to Give) or the comics (Zits or Calvin & Hobbs). Laughter will keep my mind strong and fends off the aging process by learning each day to be happy, happy, happy.

Love. (Affection) What is living and laughter worth if not shared with the people I love most? However I am learning this year that you can only love others to the extent you can love yourself and to the depth that you can accept the unconditional love extended to all from God. I am taking some time to love and forgive myself. I am taking more time to let God show me how he sees me, loves me for being uniquely me and has a plan just for me. I am enjoy this affection and love from the One who created me. I am letting it seep in me. Now I can look to those who I live life with…those I love and invite them to live and laugh with me as I love on them.

What is on your Live list? What makes you Laugh? How will you Love? It is never too early or too late to begin a “Triple L” life!